Ranma 1/2: Curse of Darkness
Chapter 3
The Killing Cure
The story so far: It's Ranma's birthday, and it definitely isn't a
good one. So far he's discovered that Mousse is engaged to Akane,
Genma made yet another deal with somebody that could involve him
enjoying a life of slavery, and that whenever his curse is activated
he loses his memory and starts to act like a girl. After almost
killing Akane and almost being killed by Ukyou-okay, I exaggerated-he
finally meets someone who he's wanted to properly greet for eleven
years...
(Scene: The Tendo dojo. Ranma-chan...or Senchi, as she would
apparently like to be called, stands in front of the door wearing a
red pleated skirt, a white blouse and bobby socks. She reaches out
and throws open the door with a flourish. Standing outside is a tall,
beautiful woman with a benevolent expression on her face and a fluffy
brown hairdo. She has a carefully wrapped bundle strapped to her back
and is wearing a pretty brown outfit. Next to and slightly behind her
stands a tall, handsome-if somewhat pretty-boy in a scaled blue vest
and baggy pants, with metal bracers on his forearms.)
Nodoka: Excuse me, but could I talk with Mr. Saotome? (Senchi's eyes
widen) If he's in...
Senchi(surprised/delighted): MOM!!!
(She hugs Nodoka fiercely. Tarou sees this and cocks an eyebrow,
while looking Ranma-ch...Senchi up and down.)
Tarou(murmurs): Faggot...
(Nodoka's reaction is slightly different. Her eyes widen, and she
begins to tremble. After a second, Senchi releases her and steps
back.)
Senchi: Mom? Are you okay?
Nodoka: Fine... (reaches out and holds Senchi by the cheeks, forcing
the girl to look her full in the face) Are you my child?
Senchi: (pulling her hands away irritably) Of course I am, mom.
Nodoka: (nods slowly) I can see that now...tell me, is your father
here?
Senchi: Just through there. (points at the living room)
Nodoka: Arigato, dear. (suddenly a katana appears in her hand, she
waves it in the air; yells) GENMA! (runs around the corner) PREPARE
TO DIE!!!
Genma(from around the corner): Huh? (terrified) NODOKA!
(While Tarou and Senchi stare after her, they hear crashes and bangs
from the living room. Senchi looks at Tarou and shrugs.)
Senchi: Why don't you come in?
Tarou: Sure. (they walk towards the living room)
Genma(from around the corner): Wait! Nodoka, I can explain!
Nodoka(from around the corner): There's nothing to explain! My son
isn't manly, so you die!
Genma(from around the corner): But Ranma _is_ manly!
Nodoka(from around the corner): He's a TRANSVESTITE!!! And a
convincing one! I thought he was a girl last time I was here! You
call _that_ manly?!?
(Senchi and Tarou walk around the corner to see Nodoka, waving her
katana, chasing Genma around Soun, who is blinking. Akane and Ukyou
are looking from Nodoka, to each other, to Genma and back again.
Kasumi is piling food on everybody's plate while Nabiki is trying to
take bets. Senchi and Tarou start.)
Soun: Waaaah! Now Ranma must commit seppuku! Waaah! And he isn't
even a transvestite!
Nodoka: Oh really? Then what do you call _that_? (waves katana at
Senchi)
Kasumi(cheerfully): Hello, Nodoka. Have you done something with your
hair?
(Nodoka, while still chasing Genma, turns and gives Kasumi cutsie
eyes.)
Nodoka: Oh hello, Kasumi. Yes I have. (lifts a hand and fluffs it)
You like it?
Kasumi: Oh yes, it looks quite nice on you.
Nodoka: Arigato, Kasumi. (turns back to Genma with a snarl) Now die,
husband!
Senchi(exasperated; to Tarou): Do you know who this Ranma guy is?
He's really starting to get on my nerves! (cracks knuckles)
Tarou: (cocks eyebrow again) Uh...aren't you Ranma?
Senchi: Aaargh! No I'm not! I'm Senchi! SENCHI! And if you don't
start calling me by my real name, I'm going to start calling you by
yours...
(Tarou waves his hands desperately. Nodoka pulls to a halt and is
nearly bowled over by Genma, who continued to run around Soun. She
calmly flips him onto his back and places the edge of her katana at
his neck. Then she looks at Senchi.)
Nodoka: You're not Ranma?
Senchi: Don't tell me you've forgotten too, mom! It's me! Senchi,
your _daughter_!
Nodoka: (Genma is really sweating) But I don't have a daughter...
Senchi: Well, I'm certainly not your _son_! And I am your child,
so... (prompts Nodoka with a rolling hand)
Ukyou(quickly): Hai! That's your daughter, Mrs. Saotome!
Nodoka: (turns to her) Huh? But I...
Ukyou: Obviously you've been away so long that you've forgotten what
your daughter's like.
Nodoka: I don't know. I have a pretty good memory...
Ukyou: Well, even people with the best of memories sometimes forget
things: where they put the keys, next week's math assignment, their
cousin's birthday, the sex of their only child, little things like
that. (Nabiki arches an eyebrow and Nodoka blinks) It happens all the
time! I'm sure you just forgot that that's really your daughter.
(walks over to her) Isn't that _right_... (kicks Genma in the shin
while giving Nodoka cutsie eyes)...Genma?
Genma: Ow...I mean, yeah! That's right! Heh heh! I almost forget
myself, sometimes...why just this very day...(Ukyou steps on his foot)
Ow!
Nodoka(obviously confused): Are you sure my son is my daughter...
Senchi: Well of course I am! Do you want me to prove it to you? I
can take you to my room and show you the differences between
sons...and daughters.
Nodoka: But why would I want a manly daughter? If this is my
daughter...
Tarou: But it _is_ Ranma.
(Ukyou gives frantic "no, no" signals behind Nodoka's back as she
looks at him in surprise.)
Nodoka: Tarou, what are you talking about?
Tarou: (pulls a kettle out of nowhere) He's right here. (pours it
over Senchi's head and both Genma and Ukyou's faces fall) See?
Ranma: Aaaargh! What the hell...(stops)
Nodoka: ...(blink, blink)...
Ranma: (having noticed his outfit) GAAH! What am I doing wearing
_this_?
Nodoka(deathly quiet): Yeeeeessss, what _are_ you doing wearing that?
(Ranma notices her and "gaah's" again) What do you think...eh, Genma?
(There is a splash behind her. She turns to see a panda sitting in
approximately the same area that Genma was. Ukyou is standing nearby,
giving the panda a flat stare.)
Panda(sign): {Don't look at me!} (flips sign) {I'm just a cute panda!}
Nodoka: (goggles slightly) Panda...(pauses) Okay. What _exactly_ is
going on here?
(She stands threateningly above everyone. Ranma tries to look small
and insignificant in the corner. Genma-panda waves around his "I'm
just a cute panda!" sign desperately. Akane is sweating and staring
at Ranma, P-chan is missing, Ukyou looks desperate while Nabiki smiles
to herself. Soun bawls and wails about the injustice of it all
(though what "it all" is is a little vague at the moment) while Tarou
watches TV and Kasumi cleans up the mess from the party.)
Voice(from outside): BAKUSAI TEN KETSU! (gee, I wonder who that could
be?)
(The living room wall explodes in a shower of splinters. Ryouga,
roaring like an enraged bear, charges in with his umbrella cocked into
launch position.)
Ranma: Great! That's _all_ I need!
(He leaps into the air as Ryouga swings with his umbrella and tears
apart the wall Ranma was leaning against. He whirls and points
accusingly at Ranma.)
Ryouga: For what you did to Akane, you, Ranma Saotome, will
DIIIIEEEEE!
(Nodoka stares as Ryouga leaps up, launching a flurry of bandannas at
Ranma. He dodges most of them, but a few manage to tear apart his
feminine attire. Ranma retaliates by rushing in close and launching a
quick chop-turn kick-uppercut combination which Ryouga blocks with his
umbrella. The lost boy responds by launching a powerful blow which
almost catches Ranma, but he overextends and Ranma snapkicks him right
on the nose. There is a loud crack, but Ryouga reacts like the foot
which just broke his nose is no more than a feather, and with
unnatural speed reaches up and pulls Ranma from the air. With a
negligent heave, Ryouga tosses him against the wall. Ranma gasps in
surprise and pain. Ryouga sneers and wipes the blood from his nose
with the back of his hand as Ranma shakily gets up.)
Ranma: [He's really serious. That should have at least slowed him
down, but it didn't even _faze_ him!] (Ryouga takes a step forward)
[I'll have to finish him off quickly.] C'mon, Ryouga! Let's finish
it, pig-boy!
(Ryouga growls and charges with a war bellow. Ranma thrusts his hand
forward. Everybody is too surprised and shocked to react as Ryouga
comes to within a few inches of Ranma.)
Ryouga: DIE RANMA!!! Ranma: HIRYU SHOTEN HA!!!
(Ranma pulls his hand up in an imitation of an uppercut, but it
doesn't connect. Instead, a spiralling column of tornado-like wind
forms around him and begins to lift Ryouga into the air. Ranma
smirks, but has it wiped from his face a moment later when Ryouga's
hand latches onto the wrist of Ranma's upraised arm. In a sudden
flash of insight Ranma realizes what his opponent intends, but is
unable to stop the forces he has unleashed. For a brief second, Ranma
attempts to remain grounded, but then is flung into the air with a
cry. He has more momentum than the partially braked Ryouga, and the
lost boy uses this to his advantage as he spins Ranma above him so
that he takes the brunt of the impact as they crash against, and
through, the roof. Ranma yelps in pain as they burst from the roof
and spiral into the backyard. Ryouga manages to place himself on top
as they smash into the (pool? No...Ranma isn't that lucky) hard,
unyielding ground. Ranma doesn't even have time to struggle before
Ryouga pins him solidly with one hand. He then tosses aside all
pretense of finesse and simply begins to _pummel_ Ranma. Ranma
struggles to escape and gain the manoeuvring room he so desperately
needs, but Ryouga simply overpowers him and smashes into his face
repeatedly with powerful right-hand haymakers. The Tendo's,
Saotome's, and Ukyou rush into the backyard to see Ryouga smash
_another_ fist into the bloodied mess that used to be Ranma's face.)
Akane(concerned): RANMA!
Ukyou(more concerned): RANCHAN!!
Nodoka(most concerned): MY SON!!!
(Ryouga grunts and ignores them, continuing his gruesome work
uninterrupted. Suddenly a form, laughing megalomaniacally, drops onto
Ryouga's shoulders. It is Kodachi, in her leotard with ribbon
spinning in lazy circles.)
Kodachi: RANMA-SAMA! Get away from him, you nasty, _nasty_ man!
Ryouga: NEVER! He will (smash) _die_ (crunch) for what (crush) he
did!
(He ignores Kodachi and continues to pound on Ranma. Big mistake.
Kodachi cackles and waves her free hand in front of her face. A puff
of black powder flies out and temporarily obscures Ryouga's features.
Kodachi laughs megalomaniacally as the dust disperses and Ryouga
blinks groggily. Then Ryouga shakes his head and all sleepiness
disappears. Kodachi stops.)
Kodachi(shocked): How did...
(Ryouga answers with a snarl of rage as he reaches up to grasp
Kodachi's ribbon. He pulls her off his shoulders and spins her like a
sling, then releases her, sending the gymnast flying at Ukyou, who
negligently snaps out her combat spatula and bats her away. Kodachi
flies over and collides with Akane; both girls tumble inside in a
tangle of limbs and out of sight. However, the distraction gives
Ranma the opportunity to flip Ryouga off him and start to crab-crawl
backward. Ryouga lands with easy grace at the edge of the pond and
points accusingly at Ranma while baring his fangs.)
Ryouga: RANMA! You have done much to me over the years!
Ranma(croaks): It was pop's...fault...
Ryouga: But now you have committed (tears) the ultimate *sob*
monstrosity!
Ranma: I didn't! It wasn't! I...
Ryouga: (a tiny sphere forms in his hand) And _NOTHING_ will stop me
from getting my REVENGE! (*crack*boom*ominous roll of thunder*)
(Ryouga slowly raises his hands, cupping the expanding sphere of green
energy. Ranma's eyes widen, but he is too injured to escape or
retaliate as Ryouga gathers all his depression and angst into one
crackling sphere of power. Ukyou dashes forward in a feeble gesture
that she knows comes too late.)
Ryouga(roars): SHISHI HOKOD...
(Suddenly, his eyes go unfocused and a sleepy smile crosses his face.
The power he had gathered disperses like flames in a rainstorm and he
begins to teeter like a punching dummy. Then, with a splash, he falls
into the pond.)
Ranma(flabbergasted): Huh? What happened?
Ukyou: (cradling Ranma protectively) I...he must have been so pumped
that he was able to shrug off Kodachi's poison, but when he began to
use up his strength in the Shishi Hokodan he couldn't resist it
anymore...
Ranma: You mean (weakly) Kodachi...saved my life...
(He faints; either from his injuries or the thought of Kodachi saving
his life {I'll let you decide which}. At that moment, Akane runs out,
sees Ranma's battered form, sees P-chan sleeping contentedly in the
pond while Nodoka ogles at him, and leaps to the only conclusion she
can think of.)
Akane(angry): RAAANNMAAA! What are you doing with that bimbo and why
are you picking on P-chan?!?
********
(Scene: A room straight out of some cheap novelist's imagination.
Covered with blood-red arcane and mystic symbols, the jet-black walls
are like night etched with fire. The floor is circular, and almost
completely covered with a giant pentagram design. In the centre, a
crystal orb floats about a metre off the floor. A deep purple mist
swirls about the room and collects above, obscuring the ceiling in
lavender clouds. Amigi stands-or should I say floats?-near the orb,
clad in a flowing black robe covered with purple, red and green runes.
His hair and robe are whipped about him dramatically by what appears
to be wind while he waves his arms about in mysterious gestures while
chanting out phrases in Latin. In the background Tzubi sits, munching
on a bag of popcorn and listening to a walkman. He rocks back and
forth, apparently in tune with the music.)
Tzubi: Is all this really necessary?
Amigi: (stops chanting) Huh? Oh no. But it helps to set the proper
mood.
Tzubi: You don't need to impress me.
Amigi: (sighs) You take all of the fun out of this...
Tzubi: You need someone to keep your head out of the clouds.
(Amigi sniffs disdainfully and waves his arm. The illusionary wind
stops and the mist disperses, revealing the ceiling-a mosaic of the
night sky. He settles to the ground and looks deeply into the
still-hovering orb. After a moment, he smiles.)
Amigi: Soooo, _that's_ what went wrong...
Tzubi: What?
(Amigi gestures for Tzubi to approach, which the boy does.)
Amigi: Gaze into the crystal, boy, and all truth shall be revealed.
Tzubi: That's so corny...
Amigi(irritated): Just look into it already.
(Tzubi shrugs and looks into the orb. His vision-and ours-seems to be
absorbed into the sphere and travel into it like water into a funnel.
We see the Tendo Dojo from the beginning of the last scene; but
everything is tinged blue and there is no sound.)
Tzubi(hollow-sounding): It's the dojo...I recognize most of them, but
the woman, boy and girl aren't familiar...who are they?
Amigi(also hollow): Watch. Pay particular attention to the new
girl...
(As we watch, Tarou steps forward and pours the kettle over Senchi's
head. Instant boy. The vision jerks, then is replaced by a view of
Tzubi pulling his head away from the orb, eyes wide.)
Tzubi: What the...
Amigi: Indeed. It appears there is more to this Ranma than I thought.
Tzubi: How'd he _do_ that?!? I could have sworn she, I mean he, was a
she!
Amigi: He was. Do you remember me telling you of Jyusenkyou...
(We watch the orb for a moment. When our view returns, time has
passed.)
Tzubi: (leaning back) So this Ranma would be cursed to transform into
a girl when he comes into contact with cold water, and back to a boy
with hot water?
Amigi: (nods) And the cursed biology might have affected my spice.
Tzubi: This is just too weird...
Amigi: I need to get my hands on that boy! I must study how the curse
affected my magic!
Tzubi: You know, you may have used the wrong spice...
Amigi: Perhaps...either way, I need the boy. (grins maliciously) I
must see him so that I know how this affects my plans. (chuckles) He
_will_ serve DMSESREPBHPTT(pronounced dem-ses-rep-bfft)!!! (laughs
megalomaniacally)
Tzubi: (clears throat) Exactly how do you plan on getting him? He's
likely to resist.
Amigi: Huh? Oh, that. (chuckles again) Don't worry, our new...friend
told me that Ranma takes a certain amount of pride in his martial arts
abilities... (smiles as Tzubi cocks an eyebrow) Come, let us go chat
with Tsubasa...
********
(Scene: (to corny music) Let's go back to the dojo! Let's go back to
the dojo! Dojo! Tendo anything-goes dojo! And have ourselves some
fun. <ahem> Ranma-back in boys clothing-is being tended to by Kasumi.
Soun is weeping in the corner while Nabiki works on a laptop,
apparently uninterested in the drama unfolding less than five feet
away. As for the drama, it is apparently reaching a climax. Ukyou is
between Ranma and his mother. Nodoka is standing stock-still, with
her katana held loosely in one hand. Genma, with bulging eyes and a
stupid, thin smile, sits at the table. Akane-holding a raging
P-chan-is next to him, staring at Ranma with a mixture of worry and
anger and...something else. Kodachi also sits nearby, idly twirling
her ribbon and smiling hungrily at Ranma. Finally, Nodoka steels
herself and grips her katana more tightly. Tarou yawns.)
Nodoka(deathly quiet): Explain.
Genma: Well...uh...
Ranma: That is...I...
Genma: And it...then...
Ranma: (sweating) Not my...blame...
Genma(desperately): I was _so_ hungry!
Nodoka: Huh?
(While Genma and Ranma continue to stutter and stammer, Ukyou is
looking more and more worried. She starts as she is struck on the
shoulder by a balled-up piece of paper. Whirling, she sees Nabiki
smiling at her. Ukyou frowns as Nabiki spins about her laptop so that
the text on the screen is visible.)
Text: I can get you out of this...however, I'm short 150 000 yen at
the moment...
(Ukyou gapes for a second, then nods resignedly. Nabiki stands up and
clears her throat. Everybody looks at her.)
Nabiki: Mrs. Saotome, I believe _I_ can enlighten this situation.
(Ranma and Genma sigh in relief. Nodoka looks interested, if somewhat
angry.)
Nodoka: Go ahead, Nabiki. I can't _wait_ to hear all about this.
Nabiki: You see, it all started with that training trip...
(The water on the surface of the Tendo pond ripples. When we return,
Nabiki is just sitting down. Nodoka looks flabbergasted, Akane is
shocked, P-chan is fiddling with the bandage on his snout, Tarou is
munching on some chips, Kasumi is dusting, Kodachi is snarling, Ukyou,
Ranma, and Genma are all staring in shock at Nabiki.)
Ukyou: You told the TRUTH?!?
Kodachi: LIAR! My Ranma-sama has nothing to do with that awful little
red-headed wench! (she leaps up) For besmirching his good name, I,
the Black Rose, will punish you!
(She laughs megalomaniacally and snaps her ribbon at Nabiki. The
lethal lash is stopped when Ranma jumps over and catches it in his
fist.)
Ranma: Leave her alone, Kodachi.
Kodachi(purrs): Ranma-sama, I know you want to deal with her yourself,
but you are injured. Allow me to teach her the proper respect.
Ranma: (sighs) Kodachi...you saved my life, so I'll make this as easy
for you to understand as possible. (pauses) What Nabiki said was the
truth. There is a Jyusenkyou, and I am cursed. That red-haired girl
you hate is me!
Kodachi: (eyes narrow) She's done something to you...don't worry,
Ranma! (jumps back) I will cure you of these awful delusions she has
infected you with!
(She leaps away, laughing like usual and scattering black rose petals.
Ranma slowly turns to face his mother. She has collected herself, and
is looking at him with amazement and shock. Genma is blubbering
something about a last meal, while Ukyou again moves protectively
close to Ranma.)
Nodoka(strangely calm): So what you're saying is: Genma took Ranma to
this training ground-not being aware of the danger-and both became
subsequently cursed to transform with cold water; Genma into a panda
and Ranma into a girl.
Ranma: (gulps) Hai...
Nodoka: But hot water can reverse the process. (Ranma nods) So
remembering Genma's promise, you decided to hide behind the curse when
I arrived.
(Everyone stays silent as Nodoka simply stares at Ranma without
expression, without moving, without acting in any way. The tension
builds. Ranma begins to sweat, but keeps his gaze level and his body
rigid. Genma looks about for an escape route. Ukyou's hand inches
towards her spatula handle. Soun, even, is quieted down. Nabiki sits
back, smiling to herself. Kasumi sweeps the other side of the room.
Tarou plays his Game Boy.)
Nodoka: This is very...unusual...the curse itself actually changes
very little... (Ranma and genma look relieved) ...but the fact that
you chose to hide it from me is another matter. (Ranma and Genma's
faces fall) I do not consider using subterfuge and deception to hide
in fear from your own mother very manly. (Ranma and genma are really
sweating; Ukyou's hand inches closer to her spatula and she takes
another step towards Ranma; long pause) However...I can understand
your point of view...and I have decided not to force the two of you to
commit seppuku.
(Ranma jumps up several feet and lands with a yelp of pain, having
forgotten about his injuries. Genma laughs-slightly insanely-with
joy. Soun dances around, cheering and expounding on the virtues of
life in general. Ukyou sighs in relief and sits down. Akane looks
relieved, P-chan disgusted, Nabiki pleased with herself and Tarou is
still playing with his Game Boy. Kasumi finishes her housework
uninterrupted.)
Tarou(absently): What about the woman's clothes?
(Ukyou _glares_ at Tarou, who doesn't look up or react in any way.)
Nodoka: Yes, about them...I believe _that_ requires further
explanation.
Ukyou: (looks pointedly at Nabiki) Well? (Nabiki cocks an eyebrow)
You're not getting paid until Ranchan is safe.
Nabiki: (sighs) Very well. (stands up) We're not sure
why-exactly-Ranma was doing what he was doing. However, I believe it
can be attributed to one Amigi Diatonabi.
Ranma: Huh? What does that nutcase have to do with this?
Nabiki: Ranma, Ranma, Ranma...you've had experiences with magic
before. Did you really think that spice would have no effect on you?
Ranma: Well...I was kinda hopin'...
Nabiki: Obviously, his magic is affecting your female form in some
way.
Nodoka: Wait...you expect me to believe in magic?
Nabiki: You accept the idea of the curses, don't you?
Nodoka: (sits down and grips her head) Not entirely...this is all just
too confusing! I need time to think...
Genma: Take all the time you want, dear! Heh heh...
Tarou: Yes, that way he can have another meal.
(Nodoka looks outside for a moment; then blinks.)
Nodoka: Excuse me...
Ranma: Hai?
Nodoka: When did you get a pet hippopotamus?
Everyone: Huh?
(They all look outside. Trying to look inconspicuous in the bushes is
a large purple hippo, which is snickering to itself. Ukyou's eyes
suddenly blaze with fury, and all her niceness and cuteness is burned
away by the seething pyre of her anger. She unslings her spatula and
stalks towards the hippo with slow, deliberate steps.)
Ukyou(snarls): Tsubasa! Go away! NOW!
(Suddenly, Tsubasa's head pops out of the hippo's snout. He looks
extremely surprised.)
Tsubasa: How did you recognize me, Ukyou-sama?
Nodoka(surprised): Sama?
Ukyou: (attacks) DIE YOU HENTAI SCUM!!!
Tsubasa: Ow! Ouch! Ukyou-sama! Wait! Ow!
Ranma: (growls) Please, Ukyou. Let me.
Nodoka: What's going on here?
(By now Tsubasa has discarded his disguise and is making feeble
attempts to defend himself. Ranma walks over and forcefully pulls
Ukyou away from him. Ukyou almost attacks Ranma, but realizes who it
is and steps aside. Ranma cracks his knuckles, glad to finally have
something to relieve his tensions on. Tsubasa stands up.)
Ranma: Tsubasa...I thought I told you _never_ to come back here.
Tsubasa: (gets into a defensive position) Actually, you said not to
return unless I was a threat.
Ranma: That's the same thing. I gave you a chance, and I'm going to
deal with you quickly this time.
Tsubasa: (smiles evilly) I wouldn't have it any other way.
(Ranma growls and cups his hands. Immediately, a yellow sphere of
energy begins to form in them. Tsubasa's smile widens.)
Nodoka: Ranma! Violence is not...
Ranma: MOKO TAKABISHA! Tsubasa: SHIKOME KIDO DUM-SUM-SING!
(A tiny black aura begins to form around Tsubasa, but it is
immediately blotted out when Ranma releases a ball of force that
consumes the transvestite. It remains for a moment, destroying a good
chunk of the lawn. Ranma brings down his arms, cuts off the
move...and gasps. Standing where he was before, apparently uninjured,
is Tsubasa. He smiles _very_ evilly.)
Tsubasa: And now, Saotome...you DIE! KIYA!
(Tsubasa leaps into the air and launches a dropkick. Ranma grits his
teeth and blocks it on his bracer, but Tsubasa was prepared for this.
The normally inept fighter flips over Ranma-clasping him around the
neck as he does so-lands, and hurls Ranma into a tree.)
Tsubasa: What's the matter, Ranma? Surprised? (giggles)
(Everyone is too shocked to comment. Ranma picks himself up, wiping
blood from his nose.)
Ranma: Lucky shot...
Tsubasa: HA! I was only going easy on you!
(Tsubasa rushes in, launching a series of rapid-fire punches. Ranma
barely manages to evade them and rolls to the side; when he comes up,
he looks angry.)
Ranma: All right, I've had enough! TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!
(Ranma starts the Fist of a Hundred Blows, but is _extremely_
surprised when Tsubasa catches both his hands and holds them with
contemptuous ease. Again, he smiles.)
Tsubasa: Nice try.
(Tsubasa lifts Ranma and spins him above his head then sends his
crashing face-first into the ground.)
Tsubasa: BACK-BREAKER SPIN!
(Tsubasa leaps into the air and curls up like a tightly coiled spring.
He spins end over end then spirals down into Ranma with his elbow
extended. There is a loud crack and Ranma cries out in pain.)
Ukyou: RANMA!
Akane: (still holding a now-delighted P-chan) NO! STOP!
(Tsubasa backs off as Ranma slowly climbs to his feet. The black aura
around Tsubasa flickers once, but remains. Ranma is leaning forward,
obviously in pain but not ready to give up yet.)
Ranma: How'd you _get_ so good?
Tsubasa: (annoyingly smug smile) Only love has increased my power!
Ranma: I'm not finished yet!
Tsubasa: You _will_ be!
(They leap and exchange a flurry of moves in mid-air, then land with
their backs to each other. Ranma is barely managing to stand, while
Tsubasa appears uninjured. Then the aura wavers more visibly and the
transvestite totters. It reforms after a moment, and he stands
solidly again, turning to Ranma with an annoyed look.)
Ukyou: [What happened to Tsubasa? He almost fell there...]
Tarou: [His battle aura is unstable. Hmm. If fem-boy only had the
brains to stay out of the way for a little bit longer...]
Nodoka: [Ranma, my son! Please don't let him die!]
Akane: [How can you be losing, Ranma?]
P-chan: [You'd better _pray_ Tsubasa finishes you off, Ranma...]
Soun: [No, Ranma can't die! He must marry Akane!]
Genma: [I wonder what's for dinner?]
Tsubasa: Come on, Saotome! I was going to make this last, but I think
I'll finish you right now!
Ranma: [There must be a way to beat him...but how?]
(Before Ranma can come up with anything, Tsubasa charges in and
delivers a spinkick which catches Ranma in the side. Ranma rocks as
the transvestite spins around and elbows him in the face. Tsubasa
continues his barrage, mercilessly flaying Ranma with lightning-fast
kicks, punches, elbows and knees. Ranma is rocked back again and
again as Tsubasa continues forward like an unstoppable juggernaut.)
Ranma: [I (kick connects) can't (elbow to the stomach) take (punch to
the face) much (kick) more (knee) of this!] (Ranma collapses onto his
hands and knees; Tsubasa stands over him, smirking) [First Ryouga and
now this...I've got to beat him, but I don't know how!]
Tsubasa: (cracks his knuckles) Now I will kill you, Ranma! For the
love of Ukyou!
(The aura wavers again. When it comes back, it is very faint. Ranma
stands up-barely-and Tsubasa laughs.)
Ranma: Laugh...it...up...you freak... (pulls back his fist)
(Tsubasa gets into a defensive position, again smiling smugly. Ranma
growls and lunges forward; Tsubasa snaps out a palm which collides
with Ranma's face just as he launches his punch. Just then the aura
flickers and disappears. Tsubasa starts in surprise, then Ranma's
fist collides with his face and he is sent flying across the lawn to
collide with the wall. Ranma staggers back and falls unconscious.
Ukyou leaps over to him.)
Ukyou: RANCHAN!
(Tsubasa attempts to say something, but instead falls out of the wall
and collapses. Ukyou picks up Ranma as all the others-except
Tarou-rush into the yard.)
Nodoka: Ranma! (to Ukyou) Is he okay?
Ukyou: I'm not sure...I can't tell how badly Tsubasa hurt him. He's
never shown any skill before. I've got to get Ranchan to Dr. Tofu's!
Akane: Let us take him!
Ukyou: (shakes head) No, I'm the fastest here!
(She leaps to the wall, then to a nearby roof and disappears into the
distance.)
Nodoka(distraught): Ranma!
Soun(calm): Don't worry. Ranma will be fine.
Nodoka: How can you be so sure?
Soun: He can't marry Akane if he's dead.
Nodoka: Marry...Akane...?
Akane: I'm not marrying him!
Soun: I am your father! You will obey me!
Nabiki: It'll be a lovely ceremony, sis.
Tarou: And probably the only one ever held in a morgue.
Kasumi(from dining room): Dinner's ready!
Genma: Ah, food! (to Nodoka) Shall we dine?
Nodoka(shocked): How can you even think of food at a time like this?
We should go to see Ranma...
Genma: We won't be able to see him for a while anyway. So we should
eat and build up our strength for all those long nights of silent
vigil.
Nodoka: That does make sense, but...
Genma: No buts, let's eat!
(Everyone heads into the dining room. Nabiki and Tarou look at ease.
Genma looks hungry, Nodoka and Akane look apprehensive, Soun looks
placidly calm, Kasumi airheadedly so and P-chan is elaborating on his
profound disappointment with the whole affair. They all sit down to
the delicious meal of curry and rice which Kasumi has prepared. Genma
eats Ranma and Ukyou's portions. Something appears to be bothering
Nodoka.)
Nodoka: (presently) Nabiki?
(Nabiki looks up.)
Nodoka: Can you explain why Ranma was dressed like...that again?
Voice: Perhaps _I_ can explain better than young Nabiki.
(Everybody turns to see Cologne perched at the end of the table,
Shampoo behind her.)
Akane: Cologne?
Cologne: Indeed. I think I know your problem...and its solution.
********
(Scene: The clinic of Dr. Tofu Ono, more specifically the "Ranma Room"
where the good doctor is examining the battered and bruised Ranma. He
is still unconscious. Ukyou is hovering in the background, a worried
expression on her face. Dr. Tofu leans back from the boy, a
thoughtful look on his face.)
Ukyou: How is he?
Tofu: I've seen worse...but not by much. (turns to her) I'll have to
work on him for awhile, and I'll need some privacy.
Ukyou: (nods) Hai.
(She steps out and sits in one of the chairs in the empty waiting
room. Time passes. Presently, there is a sound and she jumps up to
face the door, her combat spatula out, to see...nothing. Then a sound
come from behind her and she spins to see Tzubi. Ukyou growls.)
Ukyou: What do you want?
Tzubi: Nothing, really.
Ukyou: Then why are you here?
Tzubi: Two reasons.
Ukyou: Well?
Tzubi: First, to apologise to you for lying when we first met.
Ukyou(startled): Oh...really... (frowns) What's the second reason?
Tzubi: To apologise again.
Ukyou: For what?
Tzubi: This.
(Before Ukyou can react, he snaps the flat of his wakazashi against
her head, knocking her unconscious. Tzubi looks slightly disgusted
with himself as she collapses and Amigi walks out of the shadows.)
Amigi(cheerfully): Excellent work, my boy. She didn't even cry out.
Tzubi(downcast): Yeah, sure.
Amigi: And now for Ranma.
Tzubi: The doctor needs to look after him first.
Amigi: Then we wait. It's only a matter of time.
********
(Scene: The dojo; same situation as when we left it a few pages ago.)
Akane: What do you mean you know what our problem is?
Nodoka: And who are you?
Cologne: (looks at Nodoka with narrowed eyes) I am Cologne, and who,
may I ask, are you?
Nodoka: I am Nodoka Saotome, Ranma's mother.
Cologne(surprised): Indeed?
Shampoo(excited): Aiya! Husband's mom! Shampoo pleased meet!
Nodoka: Wha? Husband...
Nabiki: Why don't we talk about these other things later. Right now,
I'm more interested in what Cologne thinks is the problem.
Nodoka: Yes. First I must know what is wrong with my son.
Tarou: He's a wimp, a transvestite, a jerk, and he thinks too highly
of his own abilities.
Nodoka: You're not helping matters, Tarou.
Cologne: Very well, let me guess what is wrong: First, Ranma is acting
like a girl in female form. Second, he seems to have no memory of
being a boy at those times. And finally, he does not wish to be
called by his real name.
Nabiki: It seems she's hit the nail on the head.
Akane: How'd you know that? (growls) Are _you_ responsible for this?
Cologne: Of course not. Why would I turn son-in-law into a
psychopath?
Akane: Maybe to force him to marry Shampoo for the cure.
Cologne: I will give you the cure for nothing. (Akane looks
surprised) I will do it merely to spite my (complete loathing)
husband.
Nabiki: What's the story between you and Amigi anyway?
Cologne: (narrows her eyes) Perhaps I shall tell you...
(Flashback: We see the amazon village, where the annual tournament is
underway. A young woman, shortish but not diminutive, with long white
hair and carrying a staff much like Cologne's, is finishing off an
opponent.)
Cologne(voiceover): I was much younger then, and showed promise.
Already I was the strongest woman in the village.
(At this point, Amigi, in brown robes and looking to be in his late
teens, walks up and begins talking to an old man. The old man looks
surprised. The young Cologne walks over.)
Young-Amigi: You would gain much by joining the society. Together we
would go far.
Old man: I told your other representatives that we don't ally
ourselves with weaklings.
Young-Amigi: DMSESREPBHPTT (pronounced dem-ses-rep-bfft) is not weak.
Young-Cologne: Then why do you need our help? Prove your people are
strong. Fight me!
Cologne(voiceover): Ahh...I was a brash youth. (we see young-Amigi
and young-Cologne facing off in a ring) We came to the village ring,
and I was confident I would destroy him.
Young-Amigi: You dislike me, don't you?
Young-Cologne(sneers): Of course. You will die for insulting the
Joketsuzoku tribe.
Young-Amigi: Perhaps...perhaps not...
Young-Cologne: (leaps into the air) Now DIE!
Young-Amigi: (clasps his hands to his chest) NEGATIVE VORTEX FIELD!
(The young Amigi pushes his hands forward, and black lightning bolts
lash from his fingers towards young-Cologne. They curl about her, and
she collapses in a quivering heap.)
Cologne(voiceover): I was defeated. Amigi consented to marry me...
(return to present) ...but only to use me as a method to try and
influence our elders. It didn't work, and after the birth of our
first child three years later, he simply disappeared. Because I did
not leave the newborn, I was forced to remain and not seek him out.
(growls) From that day forward, I was ridiculed and tormented for
allowing him to escape. Only when I outlived my peers did it finally
stop...I will _never_ forgive him for that.
Nodoka: That is indeed a tragic tale, but forgiveness is a virtue we
should all practice.
Cologne: (snorts) What do you know? Come back in a couple of
centuries and maybe I'll listen to you.
Nodoka(sagely): Your anger will be your downfall, if you are not
careful. (Cologne's eyes narrow again) Now what happened to my son.
Cologne: (looks away) If it weren't for his Jyusenkyou curse, I'd say
it was a textbook case. All the symptoms are there...
Akane: Symptoms of what?
Cologne: Amigi, through either planning or mishap, exposed Ranma to a
magical herb called Femme Fatale spice. It causes the affected person
to become...well, evil. All inhibitions and morals simply cease, and
the victim develops a completely new personality. They create a new
name for themselves and generally either don't acknowledge or can't
remember their past life. Those that have been forced to remember
their former identity usually feel hatred towards it.
Akane: Wait. If that's true, then why hasn't Ranma been acting like
this all the time? Why only when he's a she?
Cologne: Because Femme Fatale spice only affects females.
Shampoo: Aiya! You mean Ranma...
Cologne: ...has developed a split personality, which will come about
whenever his curse is activated.
Nabiki: (smiles) This just keeps getting more and more interesting.
Akane: Is there a cure?
Cologne: Hai. (holds up a vial of clear liquid) This is
anti-personality poison.
Nodoka(concerned): Poison?
Cologne: (nods) It was developed primarily as a poison. It completely
eradicates someone's personality when ingested. There is only one
person living today who has taken it. His name is Ryu, or something
like that...
Nodoka: You want to turn my son into a vegetable?!?
Cologne: No. This will eradicate the personality that has replaced
Ranma's in female form and return him to normal.
Tarou: Senchi.
Cologne: What was that?
Tarou: The new personality calls herself Senchi.
Cologne: Well... (places the vial on the table) _this_ will destroy
Senchi.
(Akane reaches for it curiously, but Cologne whacks her knuckles with
her staff.)
Cologne(snaps): Don't touch that!
Akane: Why not? (spiteful look)
Cologne: I don't want you spilling it! There is enough for one dose,
and that is all I have. I can't make another and I have no idea how
to find any.
Akane(indignantly): I wouldn't spill it...
Cologne: Yes, and someday Urotsukidoji will be rated general. (Akane
sniffs)
Genma: So we just have the boy drink this stuff. That sounds simple.
Cologne: No. If Ranma were to drink it, then _his_ personality would
be wiped out and Senchi's would be dominant. No, Senchi herself must
be forced to consume it.
Shampoo: Aiya. Is easy, yes? Just trans...tron...change Ranma and
force throat down. No problem. (*crack*boom*ominous roll of
thunder*)
Cologne: Indeed, so if somebody would just fetch my future
son-in-law...
Genma: We'll go to the clinic right after dinner.
Cologne: (suddenly in Genma's face) CLINIC?!?
Soun: Hai. Ranma was injured, so we sent him to Dr. Tofu's clinic.
Cologne: WHAT?!? You let him out of your sight?!? What kind of
idiots _are_ you people?!?
Tarou: You already know the answer to that question.
Nodoka: Please Tarou, you're not helping.
Shampoo: Yeah, shut up stupid Pan...
(Tarou is suddenly on his feet and across the table in a single
movement. He ends up with his hand around Shampoo's throat.)
Tarou(snarls): Do you want to _make_ me, cat-girl?
Cologne(dangerous tone): No, but _I_ will.
Tarou: (releases her) _Nobody_ calls me that, cat-girl. NOBODY!
Remember that. (sits down)
Cologne: (to the group) Come, we must get to son-in-law before Amigi
does.
Soun: (stands up) Indeed, we must save Ranma's soul so that he may
marry Akane as a whole man!
Akane: (stands up) I guess it's our turn to save his hide.
Shampoo: (glares at Tarou, who ignores her) Shampoo go help Ranma.
(stands)
Nodoka: Are you going to help, Tarou?
Tarou: Why? I don't care what happens to fem-boy.
Nodoka: That's not very nice.
Tarou: I never said I was _nice_...
Kasumi: Have fun everyone.
Nabiki: I think I'll come along.
Akane(surprised): Huh? Why?
Nabiki: I'm worried Ukyou might stiff me on the bill if Ranma loses
his soul. (shrugs) Besides, you need at least one level head in the
group. Maybe reason will serve better than violence.
Nodoka: I'm glad to see you're so reasonable, Nabiki. It's rare to
find somebody like you.
Nabiki; I'll take that as a compliment.
(P-chan expresses his general displeasure with the plan, at some
length. Too bad nobody can understand pig.)
Soun: Then let us be off to Dr. Tofu's!
(They all rush out, leaving Tarou, Kasumi, Nodoka and...Genma behind.
Genma continues to eat while Kasumi cleans up the dishes.)
Nodoka: (raises an eyebrow) Aren't you going as well, husband?
Genma: But what about dinner?
(Tarou rolls his eyes. Nodoka calmly places the edge of her katana at
Genma's throat, eyes taking on a flinty edge.)
Nodoka: GO!
Genma: (rushing off) HEY! Wait for me!
(He dashes out, and Tarou turns to Nodoka.)
Tarou: Now we address _my_ problem.
********
(Scene: Dr. Tofu's clinic. Amigi and Tzubi sit in the chairs.
Ukyou's unconscious form has been laid in the corner. Amigi is
examining a vial of pinkish powder and frowning, while Tzubi polishes
his katana. There is a sigh of relief from behind one of the doors,
and a moment or so later the good doctor walks out.)
Tofu: Good news Ukyou, Ranma's going to be fine. He should...
(notices the situation) Ukyou? Hey, who are you two?
Amigi: (puts down his vial) Good day, doctor. (points his finger at
Tofu) Good night, doctor. ONI-MI ATEMI!
(A greenish-black beam of energy leaps from Amigi's finger to strike
Tofu in the forehead. The beam ceases after a moment and Tofu falls
to his knees with a strangled cry. Amigi smirks arrogantly, but has
it wiped from his face a moment later as Dr. Tofu slowly begins to
raise his arm.)
Tofu: I... (sweats) ...won't...let...you...hurt...them...
Amigi: (blinks) You are stronger than I expected. (frowns) Very well,
this is own your own head. ONI-MI ATEMI ADVANCED!
(This time the beam is thicker and pure black. It lashes against
Tofu's forehead with a serpentine hiss. The doctor is rocked back
with a cry of agony, then slumps to the floor. Amigi leans back in
his chair and blinks wearily.)
Amigi: He was (deep breath) much stronger than he should have been.
Tzubi: You okay?
Amigi: I'll be fine. (looks at Tofu) But I would not soon wish to
face that one again.
Tzubi: Fine. Let's get going.
Amigi: Soon, boy. Have patience, we must wait for Ranma to awaken.
********
(Scene: A street in Nerima. Akane, Cologne, Shampoo, Soun and Genma
are charging along nicely. P-chan is labouring to keep up and Nabiki
is riding in a rickshaw. She gestures and the driver stops. Running
over, she picks up P-chan and carries him into an alley. Producing a
set of clothes and a kettle, she closes her eyes as she pours the hot
water over him. After a moment, Ryouga is dressed, and he eyes Nabiki
in confusion.)
Ryouga: What do you want, Nabiki?
Nabiki: You want to help Akane, right?
Ryouga: Hai, but not to save Ranma's stupid hide.
Nabiki: Listen, Akane's going into danger. This guy Amigi is
responsible for Ranma's condition and Ranma's condition is responsible
for him attacking Akane, so Amigi is therefore responsible for her
being hurt, right?
Ryouga: Huh?
Nabiki: Obviously I'm going too fast for you. Okay. Senchi hurt
Akane, right?
Ryouga: Hai.
Nabiki: So if you kill Senchi, you get revenge, right?
Ryouga: Hai.
Nabiki: And since Amigi created Senchi, if you hurt him she'll also be
hurt...
Ryouga(snarls): Hai! I will destroy you, Amigi Diatonobi! For Akane!
(starts to rush off)
Nabiki: Ryouga!
Ryouga: (stops; turns back) What?
Nabiki: This way.
Ryouga: Oh...right. (begins to follow Nabiki as she leaves the alley)
Nabiki?
Nabiki: Hai?
Ryouga: Why are you doing this?
Nabiki: (hesitates) I told you my reasons.
Ryouga: (being as perceptive as a rock) Oh yeah, I forgot.
********
(Scene: The waiting room. Tofu has been placed next to Ukyou. Tzubi
is now polishing his wakazashi, and Amigi is again examining the pink
powder.)
Amigi: (mutters) Femme Fatale spice...
Tzubi: What was that?
Amigi: Just a theory... (looks up sharply) We have guests.
Voice: BAKUSAI TEN KETSU!
(The wall explodes, revealing the group in battle posture. Nabiki
hangs back. Amigi and Tzubi stands up. Immediately, Tzubi's katana
is out and he steps into a defensive position. Amigi crosses his
arms. Akane looks inside the room and gasps.)
Akane(concerned): DR. TOFU! UKYOU! What have you done to them?
Amigi: They live...for now. We meet again, Cologne.
Cologne(hate-filled voice): For the last time, Amigi.
Shampoo: Zubi-husband, you step way. Shampoo have words with
Migi-deserter.
Tzubi: I can't do that.
Ryouga: AMIGI!!! Prepare to die! (He charges, unslinging a horde of
bandannas)
Amigi(alarmed): Tzubi!
(Tzubi swings his daisho around in a series of complex manoeuvres
which manage to clip every bandanna and parry a blow from Ryouga's
umbrella that was obviously meant for Amigi.)
Ryouga: Back off! I have nothing against you!
Tzubi: Sorry, but I'm sworn to obey Amigi.
(The others have entered the room, but watch and don't interfere.)
Ryouga: Then I'll have to go through you!
(Ryouga lunges forward and launches a flurry of blows with his feet,
fist, and umbrella, all of which Tzubi manages to evade or parry.
Then Tzubi goes on the offensive with several lightning-fast slashes
which Ryouga blocks with his umbrella. They both wade into the melee
in earnest, however, their skill is so equal that despite several
minor cuts and hits, neither appears to be seriously injured.
Finally, they both back off.)
Ryouga(grudging): You're good.
Tzubi: (smiles) So are you. I'm going to have to work for this.
Ryouga: You're gonna fail! Nothing's going to stop me!
(*crack*boom*ominous roll of thunder*)
Tzubi: Hai. Of course, you aren't counting on my Ultimate
Technique(tm).
Ryouga: Give me your best shot! (cocks umbrella)
Tzubi: You asked for it. ZANJI SHINJANKEN-RYO!
(Tzubi suddenly pounces on Ryouga before the lost boy can react. He
begins to spin around Ryouga like a tornado, his blades moving so fast
that only the occasional silvery blur can be seen of them. Presently,
the frantically blocking Ryouga is almost completely obscured by the
ever-accelerating flash of Tzubi. Then bits and pieces of his
umbrella begin to fly out of the tornado, soon followed by spurts of
blood. This continues for several seconds, then abruptly halts as
Tzubi stops behind Ryouga, kneeling with his daisho held low. The
lost boy is revealed to be covered with cuts, gashes and lesions of
all sizes and descriptions. He rocks for a second, then coughs up
some blood and collapses.)
Akane: RYOUGA! (pissed) Why you... (growls)
(Tzubi looks up at the angry faces of the group. Nabiki is the only
one who does not look particularly upset, and when Tzubi's eyes pass
over her, a brief flicker of longing passes over his face. Nabiki
notices this and smiles mysteriously.)
Tzubi: I can't take them all, Amigi-sensei...
Amigi: (stepping forward dramatically) That's fine. I can handle
them. (brings his right hand to his left shoulder; the hand glows
with purple energy) Cologne, did you really think... (draws his hand
back across his chest, leaving a streamer of shimmering purple)...that
you were a match for _me_?
Cologne: Only time will tell that.
Amigi: Hai, that it will. (his eyes glow red and he brings both hands
up, clasping them into fists and holding them in front of his face;
both are now purple) NEGATIVE!
Cologne: CHARGE!
(Everybody except Nabiki takes a step forward, preparing to attack.
Amigi pulls his hands to his side-again leaving streamers-and opens
them into claws. The energy seethes.)
Amigi: VORTEX! (they all come closer and begin launching their
attacks; Amigi fingers fan out as he brings them forward, the energy
is now black) FIELD!!!
(Suddenly, black lightning bolts lash from his hands to each of his
opponents, then back to Amigi, then again flickering to another
person, forming a matrix of energy. Everyone is rocked back and cry
out. Cologne and Akane fall instantly, Shampoo not long after, Soun
resists a bit longer and then succumbs, and finally after about thirty
seconds, so does Genma. Strangely, only one tiny spark strikes
Nabiki, and she is not knocked out when Amigi ends his attack. This
little fact does not go unnoticed.)
Amigi(flabbergasted): How?!? You are immune to my technique! This
is...IMPOSSIBLE! (Nabiki seems as surprised as he is; after a moment)
Tzubi, kill her.
Tzubi: (turns to Amigi in shock) WHAT?!?
Amigi(sternly): You heard me.
Tzubi: I...I...I...can't!
(Nabiki again smiles mysteriously.)
Amigi: Do it, boy! Or _I_ will!
Tzubi: (leaps in front of Nabiki) NO! I won't let you hurt her!
Amigi(deathly quiet): Very well, this is on your own fool head.
(snaps out his palm) ZENJORIKI BLAST!
(A cone of white force blasts out into Tzubi and Nabiki. The boy
takes the brunt of the attack, but enough hits Nabiki to send her
flying. Tzubi resists for a moment, but then he too is sent flying
into the wall and falls unconscious. Amigi clasps his hand
dramatically into a fist in front of his face-ending the manoeuvre-and
laughs megalomaniacally.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
Translations:
Shikome kido dum-sum-sing: Hideous sorcery body-hardening exercises
Zanji shinjanken-ryo: Mastery/Combat training in the diashyo
Oni-mi atemi: Demon serpent strike (approx.)
Zenjoriki: (very approx.) Ultimate martial arts/mystic skill
Have we hooked you? Are you absolutely drooling to find out what's
next? Well, that's good...because we're NEVER going to write it!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding...stay tuned for "Rumble in Nerima",
which pits Senchi and Amigi against the rest of the gang in a slugfest
to end all slugfests...or at least that's what we'll tell you. <VEG>
Blade and Epsilon
